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I promise I won't have my hands down my pants the whole time!

If only these labels had real beers to go with them. Here's what we think they'd taste like though:

Broke Back Bock: Pale but heavy, leaves you out of breath and wanting a triple bacon cheeseburger. Buff & Tan: Full-bodied and orange, causes fist-pumping and thinking that Ed Hardy shirts are pretty sick brah. Butterface: Good flavor and feels good going down, just don't look at it too closely. Double Dark Dork: A carefully-crafted "beer drinker's beer" perfect for sipping while you marathon Doctor Who (again). Douschbagen: A Eurotrash European-style beer that goes well with sauerkraut and confusing techno. Extra Bitter Ex: Tastes good at first, but a little ways in you realize what a horrible mistake you've made.

We salute Coors for being the first brewer to figure out that no matter which team you play for, everybody likes beer.

Wouldn't blowing it in her face normally have the OPPOSITE effect?

Courtesy of Dating Fails!