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We salute Coors for being the first brewer to figure out that no matter which team you play for, everybody likes beer.

I promise I won't have my hands down my pants the whole time!

If only these labels had real beers to go with them. Here's what we think they'd taste like though:

Broke Back Bock: Pale but heavy, leaves you out of breath and wanting a triple bacon cheeseburger. Buff & Tan: Full-bodied and orange, causes fist-pumping and thinking that Ed Hardy shirts are pretty sick brah. Butterface: Good flavor and feels good going down, just don't look at it too closely. Double Dark Dork: A carefully-crafted "beer drinker's beer" perfect for sipping while you marathon Doctor Who (again). Douschbagen: A Eurotrash European-style beer that goes well with sauerkraut and confusing techno. Extra Bitter Ex: Tastes good at first, but a little ways in you realize what a horrible mistake you've made.

Wouldn't blowing it in her face normally have the OPPOSITE effect?

Courtesy of Dating Fails!