Dollar Shave Club has the solution to your poopy problems: One Wipe Charlies! The softest, cleanest, fastest manliest way to handle your business.
If you get through all 2:49 of it without cringing, you may be superhuman...
... which I suppose would mean that you're just better than all of us, aren't you?
Pleated-Jeans' Jeff Wysaski heads to Lowe's for another round of improving the names of household objects. Because let's be honest, why call it picnic table when you can call it an "elevated food floor?"