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Pleated-Jeans' Jeff Wysaski heads to Lowe's for another round of improving the names of household objects. Because let's be honest, why call it picnic table when you can call it an "elevated food floor?"

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In 2013, we were promised flying cars. Somewhere along the way, someone took that memo and scribbled all over it as a practical joke. Science took the graffiti seriously, and now we have flying pizza delivery drones instead. Thanks, Science.

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They say sex sells, but what else starts with 'S' and ends with 'ex?' SKRILLEX! Wrap your stupid face around the new improved type of commercial, then go out and drain your bank account to buy our useless crap! Courtesy of bass that drops harder and faster than your credit score!

By Unknown
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Boomers! Have you recently hired a whiny, entitled, passive-aggressive, constantly offended new coworker who has an odd mixture of shaky self-esteem and an inflated sense of expertise brought about by years of having information and encyclopedic knowledge at their fingertips on the internet? Then this is the training video for you!

Show them how to do what Boomers do best, like:

  • Showing up on time!
  • Staying awake at early morning meetings!
  • Carrying out simple repetitive office tasks!
  • Buying a house at age 23!
  • Tanking the economy!
  • Eliminating sociocultural safety structures for poor people!
  • Living the dream!
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By Unknown
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Evanescence? Hey There Delilah? Sure is weepy early 2000s music in here.

~OLJ

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