I'm Sorry, Sir, But This Doesn't Match the Signature on the Card

Favorite
666,satan,monday thru friday,receipt,waiter,work,tips
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Mission Accomplished

Favorite
jiffy lube,satan,webcomics,the gentleman's armchair,monday thru friday,g rated
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He's Watching You

Favorite
666,bad timing sorry,cubicle boredom,cubicle fail,cubicle prank,demon,dickhead co-workers,holiday terror,inflatable pervert,satan,seasons greetings,Terrifying,vacant stare
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OFFER HIM THE BURGERS

Favorite
on fire,satan,fast food,snackrifice
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Protip: If You Want Your Store to Sell Clothes...

Favorite
Mannequins,monday thru friday,satan,scary mannequins
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Don't get mannequins that look like they've been possessed by Satan.

Ridding Oneself of a Soul is Also Preferable

Favorite
family,friendship,mr burns,pawning,religion,satan,the simpsons
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If you are currently able to do this, then Satan may have some pawning options available for you.

The Devil's Milkshake

Favorite
fast food,food service,Hall of Fame,in-n-out,milkshake,satan,soda
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When the proles at the disposable cup factory gave up on communism, they obviously converted straight to satanism.

~Office Lackey Jack