manager

boss comic fear manager procrastination rage comic
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For added effect, re-read while playing the Jaws soundtrack until the 9th panel. Then, after the 9th panel, play the soundtrack in reverse. Maybe a choir of angels for the last panel. Your call.

~OLJ

By Unknown
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Another great gag from Five Second Films

WARNING: Language is not safe for work. Conversely, the joke is highly relevant TO work. Weigh your options, I suppose.

bathroom eye manager pooping pressure supervisor
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The best part is the toilet. That's the smallest toilet I've ever seen. If I sat on that, I'd feel even more like a bootlicking insignificant hive worker who enrages the team leader with each second wasted on personal issues like pooping.

~Office Lackey Jack

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As for the bajillion other potential excuses they could use, well... good luck with those!