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burn clever comments joke whoops youtube - 6373542400
By Unknown
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Remember to apply a soothing salve to that SICK BURN, BRO.

Via Mats Valk
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Today in “what hands are actually for,” a Dutch man set a new world record by completing a Rubik’s Cube in under five seconds. The Daily Mail reports that 20-year-old Mats Valk deafeated the Cube in 4.74 seconds, making us look ridiculous because, let's face it, we can barely hold on to our phones for five seconds without dropping them and shattering the screen.

Valks took the record last weekend at the Jawa Timur Open 2016 in Blitar, Indonesia, where humanity actually learned that simply opening doors and holding mugs of coffee were the least of what the human hand was capable of. After a brief look at his Rubik’s Cube, Valks picked up the cube and beat the previous record by .16 seconds. Lucas Etter, the previous record holder, is now like the rest of us, wondering what these 10 digits are actually for. Now, everyone look at your own hands and wonder, what have you done for me lately?

Meanwhile, the only one not asking that is this guy:

via Cheezburger

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Damn their already flawless toddler skin!

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Is This Industrial Size Shredder Going to Be the New Hydraulic Press?

There's always a Youtube channel dedicated to destroying things. In a market flooded with hydraulic press machines and people drilling holes in their iPhone 7s, will this be the hot new thing?

list Video weird youtube hydraulic press - 993541
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Via DaveHax
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If you listen to Steve, that guy who stands at the end of my block holding a sign that reads “The End of Nigh,” then the end is nigh. Steve’s foresight that the world might be coming to an end should launch you into action, perhaps learning some important survival skills on how to survive the apocalypse. Sure, it’s important to know how to skin a deer with a paper clip, but also important, learning how to open a can of food with a spoon because the irony of having 10,000 spoons when all you need is a knife is no longer going to scare us.

via Nicole Wolverton

Or are we?

Luckily for you and Steve, a YouTuber is here to help. Popular Life Hacker Dave Hax, who should rebrand to "Life Hax" immediately and has taught us how to make a chocolate Coca Cola bottle and "magnetic slime," has the solution we've been looking for. In this video, Hax teaches you how to open those pesky Campbell's chunky soup cans with a spoon. Use this information well. When the mysterious race of cloaked mutants has taken the world’s supply of can openers, this video could save your life. 

Be ready. Stay alive. Stock spoons.