Why not use a hotel door handle?
What? You're telling me that there's a way to make Segways useful? NO WAI!
... Okay, you know what? No. I can't. YES PROBLEM. YES, THAT IS A PROBLEM. CUT YOUR STUPID OPTIMISTIC CRAP OUT. RAWR.
The rotisserie motor failed!
Give a man a vacuum, he'll clean for a day. Teach a man to vacuum, and he'll do something stupid like this.
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