Because you haven't put enough effort into your Christmas lights until your family is in danger.
Too lazy to put a nail in the wall or even duct tape? Take a broom, a folding ruler and 2 screws...
Who cares if it isn't the season? Clever kludges are always in season!
Coffee Maker:$10, Christmas Light Timer:$4, Fresh coffee waiting for you every morning when you wake up: Priceless!