My Dad's a Carpenter

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My Dad's a Carpenter
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From the submitter:

"If he were a car mechanic, I wouldn't have this bumper. Good thing he isn't a baker..."

Now THAT'S a Bumper!

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Now THAT'S a Bumper!
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Nowadays bumpers are made out of plastic. Consider this a formal request of the auto industry to start making bumpers out of whatever Nokias are made out of... "noki-ite."

Hanging On by a Thread

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Hanging On by a Thread
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Is the door holding up the bumper or is the bumper holding the door closed?

Welcome to the Jungle!

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Welcome to the Jungle!
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We've got screws and tape! We've got everything you want, And all of my puns are lame!

The New Headlight Doesn't Quite Fit

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The New Headlight Doesn't Quite Fit
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What should you do when you hit a deer and it breaks your headlight? Take a headlight out of your John Deere, of course!