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Cops Lob a Hail Mary, Ask Mystery Owner to Come Claim Their Homeless 5-Pound Bag of Weed

Well, there you have it: today in shit that never happens, we have what shows all signs of a legit police station taking to Twitter to kindly invite the mystery owner of a homeless, sweet five-pounds of the Mary Jane to step forward and claim what's theirs. You know what though. It's 2017. We're having a hell of a first week as far as the extreme and unexpected, generally far-fetched news goes. So, is it really that hard to fathom mystery dude coming out the dark to reclaim his stash? Yeah, but for the sake of a solid story, please let something develop here. Please. 

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bill walton accidentally rants about weed on espn
Via: Huffington Post
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Ratings couldn't be any higher.

When ESPN cut back from commercial during a college football game last night, they caught  broadcaster and former player Bill Walton going on about marijuana legalization, with others in the room cheering him on, saying “get ‘em, Bill.” As if to make this clip even better, he’s also dressed in a full Uncle Sam garb, asking Obama to free anyone who was arrested for marijuana-related crimes.

It’s pretty awesome. Though, this isn’t the first time Bill Walton has let his pot politics known. He’s criticized marijuana laws on ESPN2 before, as well.

But I’ll tell you one guy who didn’t find it awesome or “cool.” This guy: