texting

fail text drug deal texts da
Via: Buzzfeed
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Word to the wise: When you're looking to make a drug deal, always use FaceTime. That way you can verify who you're talking to. Verification is key to a successful drug deal. It's also helpful to do your drugs after talking to your dealer. You want to make sure that you're in the right frame of mind to make a business transaction. You don't want to end up like this dude.

According to the NY Post, this Pennsylvanian genius accidentally texted an assistant DA that he wanted to trade some weed for heroin. Whoopsie-doodles. 

The Post reports:

Authorities say a man mistakenly sent a text message to a Pennsylvania prosecutor indicating that he wanted to trade marijuana for heroin.

Luzerne County prosecutors say Assistant District Attorney Jill Matthews received a text Nov. 2 using drug lingo that they called an “obvious text for a drug deal.” They say she later received a photo of a plastic bag containing a green substance on a scale.

Ain't that some shit? 

Dude, check your numbers. How do you accidentally text a prosecutor this? Do they have the same names in your contacts? Is that name "Good Deals?" 

via Febeiism

What this dude needed on this particularly irrational, blind drunk of a post-clubbing text rant was two Gatorades and at least 10 hours of sleep to process the booze and whatever else might've been in his system. The judgment was nonexistent, and after he went seven kinds of crazy on his girlfriend, we witness the rapid expiration of an otherwise 'allegedly' normal relationship. I'm just sitting here, scratching my head, convinced that he had to have shown some other signs before this blowup. 

freakout,conversation,breakdown,texting,dating
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It's always fun to be on the receiving end of a wrong text. To this day I have a woman who texts me semi frequently thinking I'm the mother of her son's friend. Last I checked, I don't have any kids, unless I blacked out for the last 12 years of my life and started a family I don't even know about. 

Even then, I'd be a hideously hairy and bearded mother. 

Anyways, here are some hilarious moments born from the ashes of failure, like some kind of fail phoenix. 

FAIL,text,texting,funny
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The fact that she'd even ask her boyfriend who is playing all the part of a hellishly controlling parental kind of figure, in the first place, was a sign of bad things to come. Also, valid disclaimer: blind rage-inducing shit grammar on the horizon.

boyfriend,conversation,girlfriend,texting,dating
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The kind gents over at Total Frat Move received this hilariously basic, hedonism-crazed text from that one chick who is continually seven kinds of lit and turnt, trying to keep from falling off the face of the earth, all the while lending a new meaning to the term 'day tripping' at the yearly summer music festival/any pool party. Let's just hope her girlfriends were ready to embark upon a brain cell-destroying, ride of a lifetime through the wildest, EDM-drenched, tequila-infused pits of that commercialized underworld, Las Vegas. 

basic,conversation,texting,partying,funny
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After a certain point in life, unless you're some shining beacon of hope of a human being who finds 'true love', we all have ex's. You might try to pretend they don't exist, but that doesn't mean they aren't out there, living and breathing and maybe even thinking of you.

Well, at some point or another I'm sure you've either attempted communication with them or had them attempt to contact you and for that reason most of us will be able to relate to these conversations. 

These are 'texts from your ex' that will inspire you to continue avoiding that person out there that you actively avoid. 

After all, they don't all live in Texas folks.

sex,text,relationships,texting
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Big shoutout is in accordance for our Troll of the Hour, seizing a particularly awkward situation brought on by a pregnant stranger lady with an affinity for not spelling words correctly. You could say this troll has a supernatural ability to poke sarcastic fun at an otherwise shit-coated scenario. 

trolling,stranger,pregnant,texting,dating
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