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Musically Gifted Washing Machine Miraculously Delivers Hottest Jam of March 2017

Leave it to the unmistakably talented, previously undiscovered washing machine to turn your conception of musical talent upside down. Legit, this could make for a decent track. Let's get that MP3 going, guys. 

Musically Gifted Washer Miraculously Delivers Hottest Jam of March 2017
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Inmate Offhandedly DM's Chick From Prison And We're All Horribly Confused

Of all the wild and unexpected friend requests/random messages any social media subscriber is apt to find in their inbox, the last thing you'd expect would be a damn message from an inmate who somehow has access to a working cellular device; but alas, here we find ourselves --- deep in the pits of WTF Facebook land. The real, unavoidable question here though, is how in the hell did this dude manage to lock down a phone and get these texts off!

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