All (very necessary jokes) about the infuriatingly incomprehensible nature of this idiot's "writing/style" aside; this is some definite internet gold. A true rollercoaster, as it were. I mean, this one's straight up worse than that atrocious live-tweet breakup post (see here) we ran a while back ago. Not a good thing. Just when you think our protagonist is ready to buckle his bootstraps and overcome what's truly a miraculous conception, he gets hit with a life-altering curveball. Let's just say, this is why you don't skip out on sex-ed.