Don't forget the time-honored "girl gets trapped in a cube for 2,000 years and saved by her robot boyfriend who was previously wiped from existence."

Drafting the perfect text message is a learned art form. Just remember, the more you write, the more likely you are to literally set the other person's phone on fire.

Well hey, if you're going to be hanging out alone at the bars tonight, at least there's a good trick you can pull along the way.