mario

fail nintendo switch hurting youporn visits
Via: The Verge
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Apparently, the connection between the porn you watch and the games you play is closer than we thought. 

YouPorn reported a massive traffic drop last weekend, following the release of the Nintendo Switch. This isn't entirely surprising; YouPorn usually sees drops during big cultural events, like holidays, Super Bowls, TV premieres, etc. 

Since March 3, there was a 15 percent drop from YouPorn users who self-identified as gamers. Drops continued into Saturday, which saw a 17 percent drop, but ticked up — but was still down — slightly on Sunday, which saw a 13 percent drop. 

via CJC728



But all that pales in comparison to the fact that Nintendo and Nintendo-related searches skyrocketed. What, no one uses Deviant Art for the video game-related sex cartoons anymore? Here are the numbers:

  • Searches for "Link" rose 164 percent.
  • Searches for "Zelda" rose 102 percent.
  • Searches for "Nintendo" rose 37 percent.
  • Saearches for "Mario" rose 24 percent.
  • Searches for Bowser rose 23 percent.
  • Searches for Princess Peach rose 16 percent.

Wait, Bowser? Yup. Bowser. Apparently, no one wants to J.O. to Waluigi anymore. 

via Hidden Triforce



Via: CrowbCat
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Mario's good at a lot of things: Running, jumping, getting big, turning into a fire dude, being a doctor, plumbing, painting, and driving a go kart. 

One thing he's not particularly good at is being a real-live human being. 

YouTuber CrowbCat made a few modifications to the trailer for Super Mario Odyssey, the game that sticks Mario in a realistic urban setting, which only highlights how weird looking Mario really is. He did them one better, stucking a 6-foot tall Mario inside Grand Theft Auto, so you can see how gross it is for Mario to go to the strip club. Weird. 

See: 



via CrowbCat

The idea of Mario, not only disrespecting Peach this way, but also engaging in any type of sexual situation makes me sick to my stomach. But aside from that, you can see Mario drive and explode in a helicopter, fall off a building, and meet a hail of gunfire at the hands of the Liberty City Police. 



via CrowbCat

Favorite

After 26 Years, Someone Finally Figured Out How to Beat This “Unbeatable” Mario Boss and Life Has Meaning Again

via Twitter Moments

If you’ve ever played Super Mario World for Super Nintendo, then you know how annoying the Big Boos are.

However, after 26 years, some super Super Mario player explained how to kill them on Twitter. You just slide down the stairs and crash into them.

via Reddit

It’s an amazing moment watching people come together in their shared interest of defeating video game ghosts. Now, if only we as a country could come together and figure out how to defeat actual ghosts. Seriously, there are too many ghosts in this country, especially on Tinder.

Sorry.

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