"Hey guys! Hey... hey guys! Guys! Let's make a USB stick, but let's make it as unwieldy as possible! Genius!"

Hey, it worked for Skyrim!

Too bad, you get this! Shut up and like it!

Computer battery broken? No problem! Just weld on a 12V boat battery. 70 pounds is a bit much for a "portable computer," but it's better than no computer at all!