Meet Captain Hornblaster, The Star of Election Day in Florida

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Rick Scott may have won the race for Florida governor, but a mysterious masked man is stealing his thunder.

Interrupting on air news reporters is an age old tradition, and now thanks to Florida, we have our latest contender in the battle to become the next viral sensation: Captain Hornblaster.

ABC Action News reporter Sarina Fazan was busy discussing Charlie Crist, when he appeared behind her shouting his name.

Fazan was unphased, but a few questions remain: What is the true identity of Mr. Hornblaster, and will he be running in 2016?

A Florida Woman (of Course) Spent $20,000 to Surgically Implant a Third Breast. In Other Words, Get Your Ass to Mars.

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bewbs,florida,lady bits,what,weird
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Jasmine Tridevil, a Florida massage therapist, says she sought the surgery in part to make herself "unattractive to men" (Total Recall fanboys might be in trouble still) and hopes to score her own MTV reality show out of her notoriety. What a world we live in...

[UPDATE] Surprising absolutely no one, plastic surgeons chiming in are highly skeptical about the plausibility of this kind of story, and the video interview with Tridevil doesn't really help her case at all.

This Kid Just Beat the Living Tar Out of a Hungry Alligator

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completely relevant news,news,alligator,Kickass Kid,florida,BAMF,g rated,win
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Nine-year-old James Barney Jr. of Florida was taking a dip in a lake when a 400 pound alligator tried to make a meal of him. Miraculously, the boy fended him off with a few quick hits and Barney only has bite marks to show from it. In a few years if you meet someone by the same name, be very careful during your game of "Two Truths and a Lie," is all we're saying.

Check out some of the interview footage via Huffington Post here:


A Florida Man Known as "Fat Boy" Hides His Drug Stash in Exactly the Place a Guy Called "Fat Boy" Would

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Criminally Dumb Criminal,news,florida,Probably bad News
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If you read that headline and thought "I bet this happened in Florida," then congratulations! There's a milkshake for you in the fridge as a prize. Go ahead, check it! A choice quote from the story:

The deputies searched Mitchell and fount 23 grams of marijuana hidden under his fat. Police also found a handgun in the middle console and $7,000 in cash stuffed in a tube sock. The suspects tried to hide the smell of drugs with carpet freshener and scented dryer sheets, but that didn't work.

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