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Welcome to the Salmon Bong, the Pacific Northwest's finest invention since Lumbersexuals. 

spiders fish science Oh Good, Scientists Have Discovered a Spider That Can Swim and Fish
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The newly discovered spider called the dolomedes briangreenei hails from, you guessed it, Australia.  One of it's species, whose name is Brian, was presented at the World Science Festival in Brisbane. 

He was named after Professor Brian Greene, cofounder of the World Science Festival and a string theorist. 



Brian (the spider, not the string theorist) uses vibrations in the water to fish. Robert Raven, Principal Scientist of Arachnology at the Queensland Museum told Mashable:

These spiders sit there on the water and then all of a sudden an insect will hit the water and the spider races out to get it, grabs it, dives under the water and then swims back to the shore and starts eating it. 


It eats insects, fish and toads up to three times it's own size. Apparently its bites aren't that dangerous but the fact remains; now even the water is not safe from spiders. 

dating fish revenge A Woman Was Dumped by Her Boyfriend so She Left 'Plenty of Fish' in His Hot Tub
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Zoe Jackson must have thought she really found someone special on the dating website Plenty of Fish. That's why when he broke up with her she got revenge by leaving a bunch of dead mackeral in her boyfriend of three months, Gerard Brogan's hot tub.  He discovered it days later but caught the culprit by reviewing CCTV footage. 



He found Jackson (pictured above) on camera acting fishy with a large trashbag near his hot tub at night.  She has been ordered to pay for the repair of the hot tub and we can only guess that Brogan will stay away from online dating for a while. 

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Dude Tries to Complain About a Terrible Sandwich on Twitter, Ends Up With an Awesome Lyrical Pun Battle Instead

Tom Dodds tweeted at British fast food chain Pret a Manger to complain about a less than stellar sandwich he was served and got more than just good customer service in response.

customer service list puns fish - 710149
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This stingray goes beast-rapid-freaking-fire mode, on the whole birthing process. Who'd have thought an unsuspecting fisherman could make such a great, entirely spontaneous midwife?

Let's just count our blessings that the f-bomb dropping, Bostonian madman fisherman wasn't around. He's still trying to get over that whole Ocean Sunfish business..