Willie Nelson Is Selling His Own Strand of Weed

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smoke willie's weed, trust me.
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Via AP:

A release explaining Willie's Reserve says it reflects Nelson's appreciation for "the many varieties and range of the plant's qualities." The release says the 81-year-old Nelson will collaborate with master growers to define standards for the strain.

This Dude Made Love to a Tree and Tried to Stab a Cop Because of a Terrible New Drug

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funny-news-fail-drugs-flakka-florida
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The substance is called Flakka, and apparently it makes bath salts look tame in comparison. This guy here reportedly did the nasty with a tree, claimed he was Thor, and then attempted to stab a police officer with his own badge before being taken town.

Remember kids: Winners don't use drugs, and neither do Asgardian deities.