The ash is in your tray, so to speak.

"Taken near the hotel I stayed at when I was in Beijing. Nice old guy, sold cool stuff, never could figure out what lcecrdam was."

Dude, it's obviously linguini with clam sauce. Lern2mini-mart.

That or don't keep any writing implements in your house...

"You know what? I'm sick of all these little smiling children! Running around my castle like this! A mouse can only keep up a façade of happiness for so long. Plus Minnie's a b*h."

Oh Lord, this reminds me of those old anti-drug commercials from the 90s, where that cool looking kid with his yellow, green, and pink shoes, skateboard and hot new CD player is sitting on the apartment stoop asking if some passers-by want to get high. "Nah, man, that stuff's for losers!" They proclaim confidently. Ahh, those were the days.