Via donotpickup
chipotle
Via @BethesdaHank
A man got over 300 texts from people trying to cash in on Chipotle's free burrito special. They were supposed to text RAINCHECK to 888-222 but several people have added an extra 2 and sent texts to Henry Levine instead.
He told the Washington Post, "The first thing I did was get my free burrito, because I don’t dislike burritos". What a sensible person. Then he started texting back the super fans who sent him more than one message to tell them they had the wrong number. 
via Washington Post
Since then he's become a social media sensation and he appears to be on a quest to get those poor people their free burritos! At least he's got his priorities straight after this newfound fame. 
Maybe you haven't heard? Chipote is trying to kill you. I know, that sounds like hyperbole, but genuinely, there's been an E. coli, salmonella, and norovirus outbreak plaguing their food for over a month and they still don't have it under control. They're really sorry about it, though. Lucky for us, Chipotle's been served with a little bit of classic internet justice courtesy of fake customer service trolls Hope That Helps.
Warning: strong language ahead.
They say everyone's a critic, although it doesn't help when eating at your establishment means risking an E. Coli infection. As Chipotle's E. Coli problem grows, these Yelpers aren't shy about warning people that it's probably not worth the risk.
Via Imgur
And on today's episode of "Everything Offends Me," a woman is really upset at the message on her kid's Chipotle cup.
Did the cup encourage the child to club baby seals? Set fire to a school? Join ISIS?
Nope. It just had two words that made the mom feel uncomfortable: reproductive sex.
OK, maybe out of context these words seem odd on a Chipotle cup. But not if you know anything about the artist that designed the cup.
The artist, Anthony Doerr, describes the cup like this:
Tattoo Earth's 4.5-billion-year timeline onto your arm, shoulder to fingertip, and your upper arm will get nothing but geologic mayhem: meteorites, magma, acid rain. Life won't begin until your bicep, and from there to your wrist it's all single-celled, oceangoing stuff. Reproductive sex won't show up until your wristwatch, and creatures that are finally big enough to see—tubes and fronds and weird Precambrian plant-animals—will crisscross the back of your hand.Trilobites paddle across your palm; ancient forests grow from your knuckles; dinosaurs wind around the joints at the ends of your fingers. Mammals burrow into your cuticles.
Orangutans, arrowheads, Cleopatra, the names of the stars—they all have to fit on the sliver of fingernail at the end of your longest finger.
So the artwork is an arm showing how the world came to be through evolution. And reproductive sex would only show up around the wrist.
Outrage averted.
Via Apartment List
Numbers nerd Dylan Grosz over at Apartment List did a series of rigorous tests (aka ate a lot of Chipotle) in order to determine the best way to get more burrito for no more money. Combine any or all of these tricks to get a burrito that is up to 86% larger without being charged extra. Results may vary based on how annoyed your local Chipotle employees are that you're trying to get away with this.
