His commanding officer told him "Men don't go to baby showers," so he put on his Ron Swanson pants and compiled a list of the manliest things he could possibly think of.

If that doesn't work, he might be sh*t out of luck. 

 
OP: "Army Specialist was denied leave to go to a baby shower because his CO said "Men don't go to baby showers", so he changed his reason.

Giggity.