The "Mouth in front of a powerful fan" look is symbolic. Symbolic of how much this blows.

Can we just go back to the vanilla sexy-times please?

He's being quite literal here, "Boy who plays in the dirt and gets himself dirty" wouldn't fit on the shirt.

You know what else doesn't get you laid? Improper apostrophe use. For shame!

This is why we don't dig into mom and dad's private photo albums.