My sister, offering whipped cream off of a sundae: Does anybody want this?
Mom: You don't like whipped cream?
Mom: There goes your sex life.
(After getting my tongue pierced)
Dad: I can't believe you did this! You know girls only get a bolt through their tongue for one reason!
Me (sarcastically): What are you talking about? What reason?
Dad: Don't give me that, you know what I'm talking about.
Me: No I don't...Tell me.
Dad: Nevermind. I don't want to talk about this anymore...
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