Stepdad: When I die, have me cremated. Then, put my ashes in the compost.
Me: Why would we put you in the compost?
Stepdad: So you can put it on the vegetables and eat me!
Mom: No! I'm not eating you! Not when you're dead anyway.
(Recently after my grandfather's funeral.)
Family friend: I heard you buried your father.
Dad: Had to. Dead, you know?
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