(My brother goes into the bathroom a lot in order to escape chores)
Mom(Yells): You better not be in there playing on your PP!
Me: Mom, it's PSP
Mom: That's what I said, PP
(Dad discussing if table center piece at the Japanese restaurant was edible or not.)
Dad: At first I thought it might be plastic. So I broke off a piece and ate it. My rule is if you can break it, you can eat it.
My Mum (after being told that her new Noah's ark ring was religious): When you think of Noah's ark, do you think of animals? Or do you think of Moses... Or whoever it was that built it?
Me: I gotta go, I'm late.
Dad: Wait! Wait! Don't go yet! (holding a round plate with a sausage patty on top of a round waffle) MY BREAKFAST IS CONCENTRIC!
Me, coming home to find my mom watching 2 girls 1 cup: Mom! WTF?!?!
My Mom: I just wanted to see what you kids are watching
My Mom: I've seen worse, you know
I get home from pep band and have to do homework in my room when my mom walks in
Mom: Hey honey how was-
Me: GET OUT MOM IM DRAWING A CYBORG CHICKEN.
Mom: Where did we go wrong with you?
(My nephew and father at dinner while coming home last night.)
Nephew: I don't like this drink
Dad: It's Orange Bang! I used to love that stuff as a kid.
Nephew: But I don't like it.
Dad: Look, it's a Mexican sweet drink, like Ray Mysterio!
6 Outrageous Dating Profiles
"Look Ma, No Pants!"
This Guy Really Knows How to Sell Wine
What Do Cats Do At Night?
The Best Video on the Internet Right Now is This Guy Performing ...
Toothbrush Absolutely Blows Cat's Mind
30 Video Game Box Art Recreations Using Only Clip Art and ...
Best of Tinder: Week 2/28-3/7
11 of the Most Clever and Bizarre Yearbook Quotes
One Kid Got Booted Back Home After Dressing Up as Christian ...
Pick Your Site Name
Tell me more