win mcdonalds shamrock shake straw
Via: McDonald's
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It's your sucky day! (Ed: Sorry).

The folks at McDonald's hear you. Want all-day breakfast? Boom. Here's a McMuffin at 7:23pm. Want a smaller Big Mac? Boom. Buh-bye middle bread. You want a McRib? Sorry, you've got to wait for pork prices to plummet again

But one thing's for sure, they know that you're having a hard time with that Shamrock Shake, especially that new one with chocolate in it or something. And because McDonald's loves you, they've hired the team behind Google's modular smartphone Project Ara to produce S.T.R.A.W. (Suction Tube for Reverse Axial Withdrawal). 

via GIPHY

What's the difference between S.T.R.A.W. and straw? McDonald's new over-engineered bad bou comes with a hooked end and fore holes, which were designed specifically to allow people to finally taste their thicker than thick Chocolate Shamrock Shake. 

However, this project is a bit of a Willy Wonka Golden Ticket: S.T.R.A.W. is only available in 80 cities and limited to 2,000. 

It really is your sucky day. 

Via: KMOX
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Despite being the shortest month, few would disagree that February is indicative of the cold march toward death. It's grey skies, cold wind, and slush-covered grounds make even the simplest tasks appear pointless, another distraction from the grim realities of life. 

Kevin Killeen of KMOX in St. Louis gives you the truth behind February, Father Time's cruel joke on humanity. In this segement, "Whole 'nother Story — February," Killeen delivers a harsh indictment of the calendar's worst, from the itchy skin to the lack of "tap dancin'" in the streets.

But, really, as he says, this broken umbrella says it all.



Killeen put it best:

"To try to hide the bleakness of February, man invented Valentine's Day and also Mardi Gras. But then February answered back with another holiday: Ash Wednesday. What other month could host holiday to remind us that we're all gonna die. That's February for you."

This is a real-life Groundhog's Day.

win mia the beagel doesn't care about westminster dog show
Via: Fox Sports 1
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Mia the Beagel isn't interested in your little dog and pony show, ok? She might've be running in the agility competition at the Westminster Dog Show on Saturday in New York, but that doesn't mean she gives a shit. She'll finish the course when she's ready. 



"Don't be a beagel," recommends the commentator.

Um... excuse me? We're talking about Mia, and while she might not be all beagel — I doubt she's a pure breed — she's definitely all dog, you chump. 

So, don't be surprised if she needs to stop to sniff at her butt or just stare off into the crowd. She's curious, and she doesn't care who the f knows it. 

via Reddit

Via: Late Night with Seth Meyers
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It's been a crazy 24 hours for fans of journalism, the phrase "lock her up," Russian meddling, ill-timed phonecalls, and mass confusion. 

Yes, Michael Flynn has resigned after he spoke to Russian ambassador Sergey Kislyak about Obama's Russian sanctions a few weeks before Trump's inauguration. Then Trump tweeted: 



via @realDonaldTrump

Because these guys know how to commit a crime. Anyway, yesterday Flynn resigned and this mess is just getting started. Seth Meyers breaks it down for you.

Via: Bon Appétit
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Gordon Ramsay isn't particularly known for his bedside manner. Unless you're watching MasterChef Junior, TV's best show, where he's super nice.

In this video, he's going to teach jsut some guy how to make a perfect the crab cake. The only trick is, the random dude can only use Grodon's voice, and Gordon can't see what his student's doing.

How does Gordon do?

 

via Buzzfeed

People discuss the insane reasons that caused their 'friends' to kick them out of wedding parties and, well, people suck.

wedding,dumb
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When that reality-TV gameshow host who won the presidency last year, Donald Trump, met with Canadian Prime Minister and cartoon prince Justin Trudeau last week, we all had our eyes on the handshake, while Ivanka Trump had her eyes on the prize. Yes, the woman who can't keep her shit on Nordstrom shelves because her father is PR poison, stared lovingly at Trudeau and the whole world saw it. Unsurprisingly, this opened up Meme-dora's box and the internet started writing Trump-Trudeau fan-fic 140 characters at a time. Check it out: 

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