Right: "I put the picture of your dad up on the wall."
Wrong: "Your dad is hung." #LFMF
Good: "I like learning about Nazi Germany, I think it's an interesting time period to study."
Bad: "I love Nazis." #LFMF
When telling the French family you are staying with that you like French bread better than American bread because it doesn't have preservatives in it, don't use the word "préservatifs". Your hosts will be rather confused as to why you are so glad that French bread doesn't contain condoms. #LFMF
Correct:The warm air blowing from the laptop always makes it hot in here.
Incorrect: The laptop gets me so hot. #LFMF
You know that litte girl with the red pigtails that stick out? Her name is Pippi Longstocking, not Pippi Logstalking. #LFMF
If your husband's name is Noel, refrain from screaming it repeatedly during sex. People in the vicinity will hear only the first two letters and assume that you are being brutally raped. They will also call the police. #LFMF
Correct: I went into narcolepsy mode as soon as I got home.
Incorrect: I went into necrophilia mode as soon as I got home.
Remember this when talking to your father. #LFMF