At least it wasn't blood?

Favorite
when you work in a microbiology lab and handle specimens such as stool, urine, and blood... resist ALL urges to scratch that itch on your nose. you WILL get poop on your nose. #LFMF
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It's Possible He's a Little Senile

Favorite
No matter how badly you need to pee, never leave your room without pants. You never know when the crazy 89 year old man next door will walk into your house unannounced. #LFMF
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Hard in the Morning

Favorite
Good: Morning wood. Bad: Morning wood when you have to pee. Bad and requiring much more concentration and coordination than possible at 5am: morning wood when having to pee AND poop. #LFMF
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Seedless Grapes Club

Favorite
Post-op vasectomy and on pain meds is not a good time to try and pee standing up. Since a side effect is low blood pressure.... you WILL pass out and wake up with a bloody mess for a head. #LFMF
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Geyser Girl

Favorite
Using sneezing as an excuse to miss the toilet thing? Not just for the guys. #LFMF
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That's Not What It's Supposed to Taste Like

Favorite
Guys don't wipe after they pee. Keep this in mind the next time you want to give your boyfriend a surprise bj shortly after he's been to the bathroom. #LFMF
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