If you are showering somewhere different from your usual shower, remember that the soaps are different too. Exfoliating body wash should go nowhere near your crotch region. #LFMF

If you are jet lagged and in a foreign country, do not use the complementary bottles of shampoo and conditioner without first verifying that the bottles actually contain what you think they do. Additionally, if you notice that the “conditioner” does not seem to be working properly, do not proceed to apply more to your hair thinking you didn’t use enough. Body lotion does NOT work well in hair, especially long, almost waist-length hair. #LFMF

Never pee in the shower if the drain is slow. You will be standing in your own pee. #LFMF

When your post-shower ritual involves cleaning your body jewelry with a toothbrush and special soap, don't confuse your regular toothbrush with your jewelry toothbrush. It will not taste good. #LFMF

If you have the urge to fart whilst taking a shower, refrain from doing so or you will experience a smell similar to that of raw sewage. #LFMF

If you're learning a picking pattern on guitar, do yourself a favor and learn it any time BUT right after you get out of the shower. Your fingertips will thank you. #LFMF

If you are the parent of a preschooler and work nights, don't leave your new bottle of KY on the nightstand. Your 4-year-old daughter will find it and think it's styling glaze. She will use the whole bottle to "style" your hair while you take a weekend nap. You will have VERY smooth hair, and it will take A LOT of shampoo to wash it all out. And your wife will still remind you of it, even after 15 years. #LFMy husband's Fail