When you take off both shorts and panties in one go before showering, remember to throw panties in laundry bin. You will forget about them when you later put on the shorts, and you will go shopping with your dirty underwear hanging out one leg. #LFMF
When putting on spandex compression shorts, don't lose your grip on the waistband #LFMF
When coming out of the ocean wearing a shorty wetsuit borrowed from a friend, and feeling cool like James Bond because everyone is watching you, remember that that huge water filled bulge at your groin is actually where your ass is supposed to go when you've got the suit on the right way round!
When you yell "NONE OF MY SHORTS FIT ME!!!!" in your room, remember that your windows are open. #LFMF
When taking your girlfriend to the beach for a picnic, never put the keys to your future father-in-law's vehicle in the pocket of your swim trunks. It will be a common joke years later. #LFMF
Kittens who climb pant legs do not notice when you're wearing shorts. They will still run, leap with claws extended, and attempt to climb your bare leg anyway. #LFMF