When you're bringing your chainsaw to a friend's house to cut some firewood, and you're walking because your truck is in the shop, make sure you put the saw in a case. People driving by may get the wrong impression and call the cops. #LFMF
Always tie the strings provided on your skirt. They are there for a reason. Because when you are doing laundry at a public laundry facility, your skirt will fall off and everyone will see your undies. Dont try to look smooth by putting the skirt in with your laundry, because then you have to wait in your underwear for it to finish washing and drying. And people are watching you. #LFMF
Good Idea: Letting your boyfriend take you out now that you're mostly over your cold.
Bad Idea: Letting your boyfriend take you to "Contagion" because it's playing for free at the campus movie theater.
Result: Everyone will glare at you every time you so much as sniffle, let alone cough. Including your boyfriend, who got you sick in the first place.
When you're in a store and see your daughter walking ahead of you (who did not originally come with you), make sure she is actually your daughter and not a girl who only looks like her before sneaking up behind her and trying to tackle her. #LFMDad'sF
When a co-worker takes you for a ride on his harley, the people on the freeway may not just be smiling at the weather. Your blouse came unbuttoned. #LFMF
Before going out in public, you should always check to see if you have an enormous hole in the butt region of your pants. You will go to the bank and a 4 year old girl will end up yelling that you have a hole in your pants and everyone will turn around.
Don't joke about how you're afraid that, one of these days, you'll forget to button your shirt back up after nursing your baby and before walking out of the house. You will. #LFMF
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