Ladies: when preparing for your mammogram, be sure your hospital gown is closed in front. Otherwise, you will wonder why everyone is staring at you as you walk down the hall. #LFMF
When coming out of the ocean wearing a shorty wetsuit borrowed from a friend, and feeling cool like James Bond because everyone is watching you, remember that that huge water filled bulge at your groin is actually where your ass is supposed to go when you've got the suit on the right way round!
If you decide to shower while the brownies youv'e just made are in the oven,and hear the buzzer go off, do NOT run downstairs naked to take them out, even if nobody is home. Your sister and her friends will be returning early,and they all have facebook pages. #LFMF