When coming out of the ocean wearing a shorty wetsuit borrowed from a friend, and feeling cool like James Bond because everyone is watching you, remember that that huge water filled bulge at your groin is actually where your ass is supposed to go when you've got the suit on the right way round!
If you are trying to potty train your two-year-old daughter in a public restroom and "leading by example," make sure the door is locked. She will run out and there just might be people with a clear line of sight to your junk... #LFMF
Never send a picture of Anthony Weiner's junk to your ex-girlfriend. She might think it's your junk. #LFMF
When chopping habinero peppers. Always wash your hands before going to the bathroom. The oil and juices will cause your junk to burn for hours.