Never eat any form of eggs while watching "Cool Hand Luke." Vomit stains are extremely hard to clean. #LFMF

Even if you've exhausted all other cooking fuels nearby, don't try to fry eggs by burning copious amounts of pine straw.

When your 11 year old son comes home from a 3 days school trip never assume the white stuff in his hair is dandruff because he probably didn't shower for 3 days. They are lice eggs and when you finally realize it you'll spend at least one week to get rid of it and will be very disgusted! #LFMF

If you tend to drive a bit wildly, NEVER put the eggs you just picked up at the store in the passenger seat. you will slam on the breaks and splatter the eggs all over the car. Failing this, clean it up right away. After a few hours in the hot car, the eggs will really really smell. #LFMF

Do not fall asleep boiling eggs. You will be busy for the next 2 hours airing out your home and cleaning the bits of exploded egg from everywhere. It's just bad. #LFMF

Don't read Cracked while eating a post-Easter hard boiled egg. You will laugh, yolk chunks WILL go into your windpipe, and you'll feel queasy for the next hour. LFMF, people.

Do not slam shut the refrigerator door. It will not be fun to have to clean up the mess made by all the eggs that fall out the next time you open it. #LFMF