Jellyfishophobia

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If you get stung by jellyfish multiple times in a week, stay away from all bodies of water. You will be swimming and feel a nonexistent jellyfish. You will scream and make a fool out of yourself. #LFMF
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By Unknown
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Code Red

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Good Idea: Going to the beach on a hot day. Okay idea: Deciding to lounge in the sun to dry off after a swim. Bad Idea: Falling asleep in the sun. Moronic Idea: Doing it a second time. #LFMF
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Must Be Long Beach

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When someone asks you what you did over the weekend do not reply "Shot a family and two kids on the Beach" when they don't know that you are a photographer. #LFMF
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Hotfooted

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When on vacation in the Caribbean, always rub sunscreen on the bottoms of your feet. The sun rays will be reflected by the sand onto the soles of your bare feet, making it painful to walk around. Your wife WILL say "I told you so." #LFMF
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Learn From Butt of Many Future Jokes' Fail

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When your family comes to visit, and you decide to treat them to a relaxing day at a nice beach you've never been to, take the time to research locations of nude beaches in your area. #LFMF
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