Never ask a flirting chick if she was invited to a party. she may not have been invited and you'll feel like an ass. #LFMF
While it may seem like a good idea at the time, never let your friends throw a huge party complete with a DJ at your house while your parents are away. The party will get so out of control, and include so many people, that your parents' friends will be invited and you will get busted. #LFMF
Never go to a party after eating food that gives you the runs. No matter how much you pray. The smell is going to be 20 times worse than you initially thought, and you are going to have to lie to everyone's face at the party about it. #LFMF
Yeah that room you thought was empty at that party you were at on friday night, when you were having sexy times with that girl you met? Yeah, it wasn't, there where three other people and now EVERYONE knows that you said "Oh My God, it's like a waterfall". Everyone. And they will never let you live it down. #LFMyfriend'sF
Organizing a party for your girlfriend is a nice idea. Also, giving her lace panties is nice. But make sure she knows what is in your gift before she opens it in front of parents and friends. #LFMF
If you have a boy with autism and you take him to a birthday party, don't teach him to hit the other kids with the balloons so he can play with them. Just don't. He'll end up hitting the birthday boy's elderly grandmother in the face, and he'll think it's funny.
When making a Christmas fruitcake from scratch don't forget just how much alcohol went into the mix before letting your young child lick the bowl. Nothing says "Christmas cheer" like a drunk four-year-old. #LFMF
Because who doesn't love some Christmas Cheer?
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