oh god why

By Unknown
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WARNING: This video contains several hundred times your daily recommended dose of spiders.

Via: LiveLeak Channel
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And based on the beginning of the video you'd think it was his companion that was going to be the one freaking out. But no, this dude appears to go full demonic possession while slinging high into the air, complete with head scratching and rolling around. It still doesn't quite match DMX's epic freakout from last year, but close!

funny-fail-news-pizza-bacon-little-caesars
Via: USA Today
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Come February 23, Little Caesars Pizza is single-handedly going to give everyone in America a heart attack.

The company announced Wednesday that it will begin selling a new deep dish pizza with a crust that is wrapped in 3.5 feet of bacon.

It will contain two different types of bacon and will also be covered in pepperoni, because you need to eat more meat.

"It's unabashedly delicious," said Little Caesars spokesman Edward Gleich. "That's why we like to say, 'In Bacon We Crust!'"

This is just the latest in a long line of fast food monstrosities which get a lot of a attention online for their freakish nature and often unhealthy ingredients.

Recently KFC in the Philippines introduced us to a new iteration of its "Double Down sandwich, the "Double Down Dog," which consists of a hot dog covered in melted cheese with a piece of fried chicken as the bun.

And Pizza Hut in Australia announced back in December that it was selling a stuffed crust pizza covered in Doritos.

Little Caesars' Bacon Wrapped Crust DEEP!DEEP! Dish will cost $12 and be available until April… or when our arteries are sufficiently clogged.

By Unknown
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That would be Jim DeBerry, the force behind this ass-backwards commercial for McCutcheon & Hamner, P.C. Attorneys at Law. DeBerry, never one to back down from the "PC Police" apparently, defended accusations of racism with the classic "but I have Asian friends" defense.

Remember, dime-store costumes and bad accents that would make the suits behind old-school Aunt Jemima squirm are totally acceptable so long as you have friends. The wisdom of life, right here.

news headline purple nurple oh god why Probably bad News - 6823825664
By Unknown
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Yeah, so it's been a bit of a rough news week, it would seem.