oh god why

funny-valentines-fails-teddy-bear-50-shades
Via: Vermont Teddy Bear
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That image is completely 100% real. The Vermont Teddy Bear Company, long-time sellers of adorable bear products, is selling a Christian Grey teddy bear - apparently fully licensed. The parade of sadness continues on their official tumblr, which features forced memes of the bear making terrible sexual puns:



Why, you may ask? Because #brands, yo. Hashtag brands.

Via: Real Cool Videos
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My Québécois is a little rusty, but I can imagine mom here is saying something to the effect of "Oooh, big man with a chainsaw, I bet you're not compensating for anything at all." The guy clearly wasn't looking to go all the way with the violence, but the kids in the car certainly got a scare out of it. And by scare I mean "lifelong fear of all chainsaws from this moment forward."

Via: latest news latest news
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WARNING: SERIOUSLY A TON OF SPIDERS (OR MAYBE DADDY LONGLEGS WHO KNOWS WE CLOSED THE VIDEO TOO QUICKLY). YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

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