oh god why

funny-valentines-fails-teddy-bear-50-shades
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That image is completely 100% real. The Vermont Teddy Bear Company, long-time sellers of adorable bear products, is selling a Christian Grey teddy bear - apparently fully licensed. The parade of sadness continues on their official tumblr, which features forced memes of the bear making terrible sexual puns:



Why, you may ask? Because #brands, yo. Hashtag brands.

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Surprisingly, no gore or violence in the video itself!

Skip to 1:40 to get to the moment in question.

You never know what might happen at a Cattle Decapitation show. You know, like attempted murder.

The band seemed to take it fairly well, but clearly there are some people in the crowd that need an adjustment in perspective. Or maybe they're just too Trve Kvlt for us normies to understand.