"But-a Mario! Andres Iniesta is-a so clutch! And Xavi ees a weezard around-a midfield! What can-a we do?"

"One-a word, Luigi. Balotelli!"

Quick, give England more forza! They need it badly!

The sky is blue, the sun rose in the east, and England and France still hate each other's guts. Everything's normal!

Sorry, Poland and Ukraine, but it's kind of hard to feel right at home with stuff like this going on.