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Describing what you're doing in painfully technical terms does not equate to spicing up your love life.

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The lesson here is to never go furniture shopping with your significant other in a giant, confusing Swedish warehouse, lest you want your relationship to end.

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Now you can be an attractive skinny person with a fake big butt! Congratulations I think!

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WAS YOUR EX-BOYFRIEND A GIANT? He was a giant wasn't he. I KNEW IT.

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