You probably shouldn't detail your greatest loves on your dating profile if you don't want your husband to completely destroy them.
Describing what you're doing in painfully technical terms does not equate to spicing up your love life.
WARNING: Some understandably saucy content.
The lesson here is to never go furniture shopping with your significant other in a giant, confusing Swedish warehouse, lest you want your relationship to end.
TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW.
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