And the plane exploded in a giant fireball and everybody died! Except for me. You wanna know why?

'Cause I had my tray table up, And my seat back in the full upright position.

You're forgetting iMac!

At least he still has both his hands.

Ugh, people who blast music through their iPod earbuds in public. Especially the Mulan soundtrack. We really need to work on your people skills.