Ask YOUR dietitian about the wear-less-of-your-stankass-getup plan today!

From the submitter:

My number used to belong to a girl who must have put out quite easily... Random texts from horny dudes looking for booty calls are common.

What I'm saying is that you should consider either increasing your metabolic rate or lowering your caloric intake - ideally you should combine the two - in the interests of your health. #antijokechicken