Look, Man, I Just Want to Buy a Car

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Look, Man, I Just Want to Buy a Car
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From the submitter:

This guy bought my car a few days before this text, first thing I heard from him after buying it. Glad he clarified that he indeed was not going to snuggle up with me.

Dogs Not Actually for Sale

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Dogs Not Actually for Sale
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From the original source:

My friend gets random text, he trolls away.

U.S. Geography Lesson

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U.S. Geography Lesson
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I hear that Hawaiians get this a lot from tourists from the States. Usually in the form of "Do you take American dollars?"