"Bro, is There Something You're Not Telling Us?"

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"Bro. It's okay, bro. We totally understand, bro. Like, it's cool, bro! The only thing that's important is that you be honest with yourself, bro."

This Dude Made Love to a Tree and Tried to Stab a Cop Because of a Terrible New Drug

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The substance is called Flakka, and apparently it makes bath salts look tame in comparison. This guy here reportedly did the nasty with a tree, claimed he was Thor, and then attempted to stab a police officer with his own badge before being taken town.

Remember kids: Winners don't use drugs, and neither do Asgardian deities.