fail 7 eleven adding breakfast pizza
Via: 7-Eleven
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How does this not violate international peace treaties?

7-Eleven thinks, for some reason, that they can replace the taquito and Slurpee as the breakfast of choice for 7-Eleveners across the nations. And to begin their own war against their own product, they’re dropping a breakfast atom bomb: A breakfast pizza.

7-Ellllllluuuuuvuuun…

via Gifs from the 80s

 

Oh, sorry. I passed out for a second there. I thought maybe I typed 7-Eleven breakfast pizza. Just going to take a quick look at the previous paragraaaaaaaa…

via Gifs from the 80s

Yup, Passed out again.

7-Eleven is adding breakfast pizza to their stores with such toppings as “smoked bacon, breakfast sausage, hickory-smoked ham, scrambled eggs, cheddar and mozzarella cheese, and peppered cream gravy on top of a flaky biscuit crust,” as well as my throw up. You can get these cheap-o pizza for two-for-$2 or an, gulp, entire pizza for $5.55.

“This is a hearty option for customers craving a warm breakfast in addition to their fresh-brewed cup of coffee on cold mornings,” said Nancy Smith, 7‑Eleven senior vice president of fresh food and proprietary beverages. “And it’s great for sharing at the office giving co-workers another great option from the usual box of great donuts.”

This woman is downright dangerous. Be safe out thereeeeee...

via Gifs from the 80s

 

 

Truly the significance of this spontaneous moment is given away in the headline. In such dark and troubling (at least for some folks) times, it lightens the heart to be able to fall back upon the comedic relief of an ex-prez waging war on a seemingly possessed poncho. Thankful for this.

FAIL,donald trump,george w bush,president,election 2016,funny,politics
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"You think Gold is your ally. I was born in it, moulded by it. "

During his Inauguration speech that reality-TV, gameshow host who is now our president, Donald Trump delivered a speech that sounded a little too familiar.

It sounded familiar because Bane gave a similar speech in 2012's Dark Knight Rises to the fine people of Gotham.

Actually lots of people noticed because they love Batman.

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donald trump inauguration compared to obama
Via: Vox
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You can see a whole lot of green on the National Mall, and not the good kind.

Everyone knew that President Trump’s inauguration was having trouble putting people on stage and butts in seats, but compared to other inaugurations, this is pretty weak. Arial shots of the inauguration of the nation’s first reality-TV, gameshow host president reveal that not that many people went to this thing.



via Vox

Look at all that grass. It looks especially weak compared to Obama’s inauguration in 2009. Trump drew roughly 800,000 to 900,000 while Obama brought in about 1.8 million.



via Vox/Jewel Samad AP

And them together, side by side? Yeesh:



Yeesh. Nothing left to say but:

What a day we have unfolding before us, and why not focus on what really matters right now. What is in the damn box?! For real. Minds near and far, 'mountain to mountain' are already running wild with creative inspiration on what could possibly have been in there. Outside the mystery gift, we're also enjoying the supremely cringeworthy performance that was the gift exchange. The grimace from Michelle Obama...very real.

donald trump,cringe,election 2016,Michelle Obama,politics
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