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Become homeless and unemployed, steal, and get shafted out of proportion.

More than 2,000 employees received a stake in the company because Chobani CEO, Hamdi Ulukaya, wanted to "give back" to the people who helped build the multi-million dollar yogurt company. 

Business idea: Start an iPad accessories company that gathers material by walking around Wall Street and surreptitiously cutting pockets from the suits of stockbrokers and investment managers. It would be called "Picking Pockets." Or "Out of Pocket." Or "Line Your Own Pocket." Or "Is That a Wall Street Executive in Your Pocket, or Are You Just Glad to See Me?"

~Office Lackey Jack

During an NFL pregame show on WUSA-TV in Washington, DC, Manley employed dumbed-down, reckless judgment on par with a Buffalo Bills tailgater who thought it'd be chill to jump onto a flaming table today.

Manley was speculating on Cam Newton, who might be selected as the first black quarterback ever named NFL MVP. Newton's had 626 rushing yards this season, which is in every sense of the word, 'madness.'

You can pretty much see Manley's co-host bow his head, and die on the spot. Like, wow man.

Dexter Manley has some thoughts on black quarterbacks: https://t.co/yPpM4JDRhC pic.twitter.com/bXwZINgT5n

— Deadspin (@Deadspin) January 3, 2016

"Hold on to your butts!"

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