job application

"Then how did you get hired in the first place, sir?"

"Hmmm, candidate uses logic and is openly defiant of superiors. You're just shooting yourself in the foot now buddy... candidate also only has one functional foot..."

I was taking the assessment during the aplication process for Rent-A-Center, now I'm questioning how they keep employees there.

Look for a position that fits your skill set.

In 2011, Christopher Woodring applied for a job at DreamWorks. After a few weeks, he hadn't heard back from them, so he sent them this video. He was subsequently banned by DreamWorks from working for them in any capacity ever.

From the submitter:

"This "resume" was handed to me while I was working security. The spelling is awesome, but the lack of detail is even better. It was done on a typewriter, and the paper was torn by folding and wetting and tearing."

"Just kidding, I have no idea what you're saying, I'm a goddamn panda!"

If you're scum or pissed as everyday then piss off!

"Fascinating."

"Optimized client assets for strategic marketing purposes."

Qualifications

I constantly hunger for a challenge. I have a very cann-do attitude. I am a team player, and have experience spearheading team projects.

If that doesn't get you employed, what will?

Here at Party Supply Inc., we sometimes like to party soft. Unfortunately, that's outside the scope of your qualifications.

Also, we have a number of other applicants who we're considering.

You're in a crowded pool of applicants if those are your qualifications.