job application

"Then how did you get hired in the first place, sir?"

"Hmmm, candidate uses logic and is openly defiant of superiors. You're just shooting yourself in the foot now buddy... candidate also only has one functional foot..."

"Fascinating."

Here at Party Supply Inc., we sometimes like to party soft. Unfortunately, that's outside the scope of your qualifications.

Also, we have a number of other applicants who we're considering.

Look for a position that fits your skill set.

Mentally ill? No problem!

If you're scum or pissed as everyday then piss off!

From the submitter:

"This "resume" was handed to me while I was working security. The spelling is awesome, but the lack of detail is even better. It was done on a typewriter, and the paper was torn by folding and wetting and tearing."

Qualifications

I constantly hunger for a challenge. I have a very cann-do attitude. I am a team player, and have experience spearheading team projects.

Dude. Whoa.

You could have sent her a picture of Gary Busey.

In 2011, Christopher Woodring applied for a job at DreamWorks. After a few weeks, he hadn't heard back from them, so he sent them this video. He was subsequently banned by DreamWorks from working for them in any capacity ever.

You're in a crowded pool of applicants if those are your qualifications.

If that doesn't get you employed, what will?