jeans
Got some blue suede shoes to go with those jeans? Jeans have truly come a long way from heavy-duty work pants, all the way up to halfway up the butt of whoever decided society needs to see half of their bum. So hike up your britches and enjoy the punniest jeans you've ever seen.
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Grandchild spends months arranging to buy grandmother's garden, cousin suddenly changes his mind and claims it for himself: 'Why hasn't he done anything to acquire it before?'
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Former employee joins rival company and ends up in meeting with old bosses criticizing his work: 'The nervous little laughs were glorious'
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'It would otherwise be empty...' Homeowner discovers neighbor has been parking his SUV on his driveway while he's at work, so he installs a parking bollard and gets called 'passive aggressive'
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Entitled next-door neighbour constantly pushes neighbours' generosity by using his lawn and properties, when confronted about it: ‘He laughed it off, said "we're neighbours, what's mine is yours" smiled and kept sitting there’'
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Diner leaves a dinner party early because the vegan lasagna didn’t fill him up: ‘There were no noodles, no cheese, and no sauce. It was basically layers of vegetables stacked together’
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